How to Control ‘ Anger’ during Lockdown

Anger is a great force, if you can control it. It can be transmuted into a power that can move the whole world – William Shenstone.

Anger is the most common emotion easily termed as being negative.  Although, like the emotions of love, hunger, excitement, etc. this is just another emotion that develops within you when you are faced by a person or a situation which seems a little out of control.  Stop believing that you are a negative person only because you get angry.  There is little truth in that.  The only problem with people who are frequently attacked by this emotion is that they perhaps haven’t really understood how to manage it.  The outburst is really what makes the outcome good or bad.  Some react loudly, arguing or even resorting to violent behaviour and some others suppress the outburst.  There are side effect to both.  If you are not able to control the eruption, you will end up hurting others, thus scaring relationships and also causing damage to your own health.  Supressing this emotion does not do any good either.  The impact of suppressing anger is seen directly on your health. Kidney stones, high blood pressure, dental problems and in some cases chronic and terminal illnesses such as cancer are only some of the detrimental consequences. It is also seen that people who get angry very often are prone to cuts, wounds and injuries in their day to day life.  So the best way to letting out the emotion is to take a little time to first calm down and then understand the issue, without going too much into the past and bring up more dead issues. It would really help if you don’t even race into the future to predict negative hypothetical impacts of the current issue. Focus only on the present. When you decided to stay in the present and address only what you have on hand, there is lesser work to do.  This time that you take to calm yourself, keeps you away from the loud outburst and it also helps you to convey your disagreement in a more acceptable and appropriate manner.  In extreme cases, it is definitely advised to take professional help to deal with the reaction you show due to anger.  The most permanent way to relieve you of the impact that this emotion is forgiveness.  Detaching yourself from revengeful and vindictive thoughts and attaching yourself to the healing impact of forgiveness and letting go, bring greater peace.  It does not matter what the past has been, what matters is how you decide to detach the present from the impact of the negative past experience.  Buddha taught us, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, you are the one who gets burned.”

We have always termed anger to be a negative emotion, but it is this emotion that has been responsible for revolutions around the world.  The human body is built in a way that, if the environment outside can evoke emotions inside it, it houses the ability to combat the emotion and direct its flow.  Boiling water creates steam, that can then move a locomotive.  A candle can light up a room, but the same fire can burn down the whole of the Amazon forests.  The difference is in the outcome.  Has it created or destroyed?  Controlling what you create by controlling how you feel makes all the difference.  It is critical to understand your body and mind.
It is important to observe patterns of your behaviour and what has been the outcome of such behaviour.  It then becomes easy to know what changes need to be made.  Changing habits is difficult but not impossible.  Counselling and therapy help not just to understand the reaction of your body to different emotions but also how you can exercise control.

There are many ways of acquiring these skills.  One of them is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).  A therapy that has shown great medical, psychological and healing results.

Using the fingers on one hand to tap the points on different parts of the other hand, such that you patiently calm your nerves is the technique of this therapy.  To practice it, you would need to tap the ‘karate chop point’ of one hand with four fingers of the other hand.  You can also tap the ‘opposite side of your thumb’ with four fingers.  While you do this, speaking to yourself to cut off the negative or external talks is important.  Try saying :

– “Even though I feel angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

– “Even though I am anxious, about ……(give your reason), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

– “Even though I panic when I think about …….(give your reason), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Repeat these statements three times aloud, while simultaneously tapping the points on your hand.  Use firm but gentle pressure, as if you were drumming on the side of your desk or testing a melon for ripeness.  As you complete the set of three, you would have started a new pattern to calm your mind down and focus on the problem with a solution orientation. You will see the difference between how you felt when you were in the middle of an issue and how you feel after you have calmed your nerves down.  If your anger is still high, you can do another round of tapping.  Continue the process until you are ready to address the issue more sanely.  Remember, every habit takes time, so be patient.  You can change your affirmations to focus on solutions and your desire to progress. For e.g. you can also say, “Even though I still feel angry regarding ………, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  “Even though I am still a little worried about ………., I deeply and completely accept myself,” or “even though I feel very frustrated right now about ….., I deeply and completely believe, I will find solutions.”

Converting anger into a fuel that will accelerate you forward into success and achievements takes time, patience and consistent efforts, but once done, you will learn how to use the power of anger to push you forward to do things that can positively change your life.  The greatest revenge is success and success is directly proportionate to the hunger and the anger you have inside towards a given situation.  That is how freedom was gained…that is how success is gained.


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