“Family Constellations” words which are not commonly heard but these two words are very important aspect when we think about living a happy life. What is Family Constellations? Developed by the psychotherapist Dr. Bert Hellinger, family constellations look as families, schools, organisations, countries as system. There are certain unconscious actions which we carry out are derived from our ancestors. We often recreate emotions like anxiety, disappointments of our parents, grandparents. When we are born in a family our physical and emotional both the aspects are inherited from our ancestors. Some few traits derived and used unconsciously are depression, apprehensions, misery. How we survive, distribute resources and thrive in these system, Dr. Bert Hellinger discovery is based on three governing principles. The first principle is need for belonging. We belong by being born into or married into family. One of the important things to understand is the deepest need of any child born in a family is to belong to his or her parents and show their loyalty towards their parents. A child would do whatever he can for that belonging to occur. This is universal law of relating which is often not followed. Belonging is most important order of love. We see people acting believing they have absolute clear conscience, but they are performing atrocities. In this rush to need to belong to family for survival we have an instinctual expectation from members of family.

The second principle is need for social order, simply the one who comes first in the hierarchy has a priority, for instance grandparents to eldest born to right down to youngest. Each family member still has their place even if they have passed it translates as parents talk and children behave is obvious order of love.
The third principle is need for equilibrium, the balance of giving and taking in this way relationship sustain and grow. When either one of these principles are out of balance in a family, we become entangled and systemic symptoms appear and stop us from living our life fully. Any amount of counselling, health interventions have not made any difference. Systemic symptoms can appear as onus or a mental health issue, ongoing relationship parent’s persistence feelings or failure to thrive financially these symptoms point to someone in the family generations. Your lineal descent from an ancestor, events occurred in the past and planetary events are accountable for your current personality. Unresolved loss becomes the unconscious focus, causing patterned behaviour and dynamics. We play out these dynamics until we heal them. Yet these seeming blocks to thriving can be resolved rapidly when authentic connection is restored. Your body is filled with energy and it remembers everything.

Let me share a real-life incident of a girl name Urvashi (name changed) who was raised in a very strange mother daughter relation. For her whole life girl struggled to receive love. She always felt- no one loves her. And this made her feel miserable, eventually it started reflection in her behaviour, in this process of journey of ups and down for thirst of love she became close to her grandmother. She found mother’s love in her grandmother, in due course circumstances ignited fight between mother and her mother-in-law. Life was not easy for her and suddenly one day her grandmother passed away, she was shattered, broken. Years passed, Urvashi meanwhile got into a relationship with a boy, she could metaphor her boyfriend love with mother’s love but the feeling of belonging still haunted her, she was stuck in her life couldn’t grow financially nor emotionally, the issue started affecting her health as well. As some years passed, she decided to take family constellations therapy, during the sessions it was revealed that Urvashi felt the need of belonging, she thrived for mother’s love after her grandmother passed away the need for belonging triggered, she found her mother’s love in her husband but still the need of belonging did not surpass. Family constellations therapy made her realise the about love which can never be same from all the people around as each one has different way of showering love and we must accept it. The burden under which Urvashi was living has now disappeared. She is living a happy life without any burden.

Family constellations is very quick therapy with astonishing and vibrating results. Family constellations differ from traditional therapy. Individual is not dependent on therapist once the session is completed, it is not an ongoing process, it works very deep on unconscious level. Family Constellations makes you self-reliant it empowers sense of connection, so you reclaim your innate ability to heal and free yourself from painful, limiting patterns. Free of these limiting beliefs, habits and stories you’ll truly thrive in your work, health, relationships, parenting and family. One must illuminate their life along with people around for happy life and there is no alternative but to reconnect.
The answers we seek are available now. Please get in touch, for more information on your Constellation and find your place of belonging.